~WeLcoMe To My LIfE~

Adalah sangat malas since balik dari Aberdeen, and now believe it or not, it’s the end of my 2-weeks break already. We gonna start school next Monday, nasib baik laa it’s only lectures, here in Leeds, then we got another week off for Easter (or so we think - unless they put that week as SSC week). And then, yada-yada back to Bradford. Aiyakkk.. I’m soooo tired of being away from home. It’s GP and Psychiatry placement now, but I’m thinking of commuting - no reason to stay in BRI (bradford Royal Infirmary), as the GP is nowhere near the Infirmary. And for Psychs, I’ll just come for teaching and spend some time in the ward, as necessary. Otherwise, I’ll stay at home and revise.

Was talking to Kamarul the other day, and I have to agree with him, we’ve spent and am going to spend 9/10 of my fourth year outside Leeds. The only time when I was in Leeds was while doing my Infectious Disease and HIV teaching (itu pun sbb semua org dekat Leeds) and a week of Anaesthetics (same reason -semua orang kena buat a week in Leeds and a week outside). It’s soo bloody unfair. They keep sending the same people away. Once they sent you away for your first placement, that’s it, you’re gonna be away till the end of the year. Oh well, at least I’ve got good teaching in Bradford for my Peads and Obs & Gynae, hopefully they have good teaching for Psyc and GP as well..aminnn. Tapi macam bosan lah. Asyik pergi balik. I’ve got two places to keep, and the travel expense is killing me.. well, at least it’s killing my bloody bank account. I’ve been living in debt for quite a while now, and no matter what I do, it’s just not enough. Ikat perut? all the time.. stop shopping?? I haven’t bought anything other than necessities for months - and I mean necessities - food, toiletteries and the likes. No new clothes, no nothing. Even last weekend was a must, if I were to keep my sanity.

Was reading Mala’s entry on trust and respect, and I couldn’t agree with her more. It’s one thing when you betray someone’s trust..you suffer the consequences, but it’s your fault.. so sendiri mau ingat laa kan. But it’s another when someone do that to you. It’s bloody hurt, man!! macam isk… susah nya nak lupa, although you try hard to forget. Forgive and forget?? nayyyy… forgive maybe, but forget?? It’s gonna take a looooooongg time. Maybe some people say if you not forget, then you’re not forgiving. Ye ke? For me it’s 2 different things altogether. It’s easier to forgive, than to forget. Sometimes the cut is too deep, even the smallest thing can make it bleeds again. And that time, you’ll remember the past.. Mengungkit? Maybe.. you shouldn’t.. but heyy, you learn from the past, right?? hehhh

Ok.. enough rambling. With my current state of mind, I can go on and on without stopping. So, better do it now while I can.

thehealthinspector: I can’t chill, I’m a flame!!! 

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 1st, 2006 at 3:15 am and is filed under ..it's my life... You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.