~WeLcoMe To My LIfE~

Had a teaching on febrile convulsions and seizures this morning. Then the doctor asked if any of us had any close contact with someone with epilepsy. I said I had, and still has - my brother. It’s my own diagnosis anyway - I don’t really know what happened to him - like the proper medical history. From what I know, he had a high fever when he was about three months old, that his development kind of progress very slowly. It’s probably some inherited syndrome, since my cousin has it to. I never asked my mom how it happened. The only reason I knew he had a fever is because I heard my mom told my aunt when I was about 10. I don’t know why I never asked. I just didn’t. Maybe because he’s older than me, so I just accepted things as it is. Accepted him as he is.

I’ve never talked much about him. I supposed, because I can’t really communicate with him - so he is often.. forgotten. Kind of. Since we were little, our world evolved around him. My parents always leave him at home, and someone always has to stay behind with him. I think I had it easier because I’m a girl. So, my parents tend to bring me esp if we went out at night, and left him with my other brothers. I think he often feels left out, except that he couldn’t say it. I do feel sorry for him, and I love him, but he annoys me sometimes. (well, that’s what brothers do anyway - annoying you :p)

I remembered when I was waiting for my SPM results. I became ‘bibik’ of the house. A lazy bibik I must say, since I woke up late every morning, and tried to finish my chores within 3 hours (before my mom come back for lunch). So, my job was never perfect. It’s worse, when there was one time, I was busy cooking and he spilled a tin of Milo on himself and the floor, that I’ve just finished sweeping. It was like half an hour before lunch time. And then he laughed. Sabar je lah. Rasa nak cubit-cubit je (dah cubit dah pun) - but then I felt guilty, sbb dia bukannya tahu apa-apa pun. That was the worst 2 months of my life. Not because I have to take care of him, but because I can’t talk to anyone. Ye lah, bgn pagi semua dah pegi keja/sekolah..petang baru balik. I mean, if my brother can talk, at least, I have someone to talk to, but he couldn’t so macam rasa nak menjerit je sbb tak bleh bercakap. (That’s why I spent RM30++ on one phone call - calling my beloved friend in Kuala Ketil *wink wink* - nasib baik tak kena marah :p)

He laughs a lot. Like when I tried feeding him for the first time. He laughed at me and wouldn’t eat. Dah laa orang nak cepat. Boleh tu dia gelakkan aku. Ciss btul. Tahulah orang tak biasa. And sometimes if I don’t close my door properly (my mom often come to my room before she goes to work - just to remind me all the chores I need to do, so kadang-kadang dia tak tutup pintu betul-betul) - he’ll come and tepuk2 me until I woke up. Come to think of it, maybe my mom sengaja tak tutup pintu so that my brother can come and wake me up. Haha. And if my parents go somewhere for a few days he’ll look for them. Like when my mom went to Langkawi for 2 weeks, he kept going to the kitchen, just to check if my mom was there

I think about him sometimes, and I don’t know what will happen when both my parents are no longer around. I hope we won’t neglect or forget him. I do love him, but I don’t think I have the patience like my parents. And deep inside, I really hope all my children will be healthy. I hope He won’t test me that way. Aminn.

Don’t know why I think about him now, but I hope he’s doing fine. Maybe I should call home and check

It’s a shame I don’t have his pictures in my pc.

thehealthinspector: missing home

This entry was posted on Friday, February 24th, 2006 at 5:01 pm and is filed under ..it's my life... You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.