~WeLcoMe To My LIfE~

CAUTION:

DO NOT READ!!

Hari ini adalah sangat mandom. Bangun tido, membaca buku sambil menonton american idol dan makan lebihan mi kari semalam. Sekarang adalah sudah kembali lapar. Cuba membuat leaflet tanpa sebarang kejayaan, dan esei juga tanpa sebarang kejayaan. Tiba-tiba terasa hendak merapu membebel, dan rasa mahu makan sesuatu yang tidak dapat dikenal pasti apa. Benci betul craving makanan yang tak tahu apa ni.. iskk..

Sekarang dah hampir tiga petang, dan weekend adalah akan officially berakhir dalam masa beberapa jam, tanpa sebarang progress yang memberangsangkan. Semalam adalah hyper, jadi mungkin kerana itu hari ini menjadi terlebih mandom.

On a different note, my sister in law is already in delivery suite - tapi tak tahu lagi bila nak deliver. So, hopefully all will go well, and I’ll be a happy aunt to a new boy/girl in the family (yang sudah mula berjaya menjeleskan kasyah dari dalam perut lagi ;p) aminnn..

thehealthinspector: my stomach is going crazy

Had a teaching on febrile convulsions and seizures this morning. Then the doctor asked if any of us had any close contact with someone with epilepsy. I said I had, and still has - my brother. It’s my own diagnosis anyway - I don’t really know what happened to him - like the proper medical history. From what I know, he had a high fever when he was about three months old, that his development kind of progress very slowly. It’s probably some inherited syndrome, since my cousin has it to. I never asked my mom how it happened. The only reason I knew he had a fever is because I heard my mom told my aunt when I was about 10. I don’t know why I never asked. I just didn’t. Maybe because he’s older than me, so I just accepted things as it is. Accepted him as he is.

I’ve never talked much about him. I supposed, because I can’t really communicate with him - so he is often.. forgotten. Kind of. Since we were little, our world evolved around him. My parents always leave him at home, and someone always has to stay behind with him. I think I had it easier because I’m a girl. So, my parents tend to bring me esp if we went out at night, and left him with my other brothers. I think he often feels left out, except that he couldn’t say it. I do feel sorry for him, and I love him, but he annoys me sometimes. (well, that’s what brothers do anyway - annoying you :p)

I remembered when I was waiting for my SPM results. I became ‘bibik’ of the house. A lazy bibik I must say, since I woke up late every morning, and tried to finish my chores within 3 hours (before my mom come back for lunch). So, my job was never perfect. It’s worse, when there was one time, I was busy cooking and he spilled a tin of Milo on himself and the floor, that I’ve just finished sweeping. It was like half an hour before lunch time. And then he laughed. Sabar je lah. Rasa nak cubit-cubit je (dah cubit dah pun) - but then I felt guilty, sbb dia bukannya tahu apa-apa pun. That was the worst 2 months of my life. Not because I have to take care of him, but because I can’t talk to anyone. Ye lah, bgn pagi semua dah pegi keja/sekolah..petang baru balik. I mean, if my brother can talk, at least, I have someone to talk to, but he couldn’t so macam rasa nak menjerit je sbb tak bleh bercakap. (That’s why I spent RM30++ on one phone call - calling my beloved friend in Kuala Ketil *wink wink* - nasib baik tak kena marah :p)

He laughs a lot. Like when I tried feeding him for the first time. He laughed at me and wouldn’t eat. Dah laa orang nak cepat. Boleh tu dia gelakkan aku. Ciss btul. Tahulah orang tak biasa. And sometimes if I don’t close my door properly (my mom often come to my room before she goes to work - just to remind me all the chores I need to do, so kadang-kadang dia tak tutup pintu betul-betul) - he’ll come and tepuk2 me until I woke up. Come to think of it, maybe my mom sengaja tak tutup pintu so that my brother can come and wake me up. Haha. And if my parents go somewhere for a few days he’ll look for them. Like when my mom went to Langkawi for 2 weeks, he kept going to the kitchen, just to check if my mom was there

I think about him sometimes, and I don’t know what will happen when both my parents are no longer around. I hope we won’t neglect or forget him. I do love him, but I don’t think I have the patience like my parents. And deep inside, I really hope all my children will be healthy. I hope He won’t test me that way. Aminn.

Don’t know why I think about him now, but I hope he’s doing fine. Maybe I should call home and check

It’s a shame I don’t have his pictures in my pc.

thehealthinspector: missing home

I was late for teaching yesterday, because the bus was running late, which is pretty uncommon actually. So feeling too much of a slacker (I missed Monday), I decided to do a nursing shift later in the afternoon with one of the nurses. So there I was standing near the front desk, waiting patiently for the nurse to finish writing in the notes, when one of the consultant kindly ask me, " Are you one of the patient?"

Dumbstruck, I managed to explain to him, that I’m indeed a Medical student, not one of the patient. If it’s a normal ward, I wouldn’t mind so much (I’m in Bradford - so many Asian people around, so maybe he mistaken me for his patient), BUT (a big but there) I am in a PEADIATRIC ward - read wad kanak-kanak. Huhuhuhu.. tak tahu patut bangga sbb masih nampak muda di kala umur nak mencapai suku abad ini, atau patut rasa kecik hati, sbb dia ingat aku kanak-kanak. Tsk tsk tsk..

Adoilah.. dah laa pergi delivery assessment unit pun, ward clerk tu ingat aku ni patient.. padahal perut sikit punya kempis laa kan. Agaknya aku ni rupa orang sakit sangat kot???

thehealthinspector: *sigh*

Frekuensi ija mengapdet blog ini adalah berkadar langsung dengan tahap kemalasan.. heheh lama pulak tak mengapdet. Nak kata busy, agaknya lah.. tapi sebenanya lebih kepada malas, dan juga tade idea. Macam boring laa kan asyik tulis pasal aktiviti seharian, ye tak? macam sendiri pun bosan. *sigh*

Hari ni patut dah sampai Bradford, tapi dia atas sebab-sebab yang boleh, tapi tak nak dielakkan, jadinya tak pegi. Esok pagi je lah pegi. Itupun sebab ada meeting dengan tutor. Tapi oklah kot, gi utk teaching, pastu bleh stay dekat ward tu buat apa-apa yang patut.

The 3rd week of peadiatrics and I think I like it. If only I’ve done my SSC sooner. Hari tu punya lah determine nak siapkan SSC seawal mungkin, so tak perlu lah nak rushing towards the end. Tapi tengok, ni tinggal lagi 3 minggu, 2 weekend, Tak siap-siap jugak. Konon-konon nak hantar draft, tapi, draft pun takde. Kena buat 15 pages worth of essay (double spacing laa tapi). Mine now is about 3 pages je yang siap. Itu pun huru-hara. Baru macam copy paste, tak susun betul-betul lagi. If I can write a couple more pages tonight, then boleh sambung and try siap kan this weekend. Nasib baik lah Friday tu half day je, so, boleh balik awal. Haiyoo. Leaflet pun tak buat lagi. Tsk tsk..

Ini pun, pejam celik, pejam celik dah nak habis rotation. Then continue next rotation, lepas tu, exam. Kena start revising soon. That is, if I want to go back for elective laaa kan. Bak kata Alia, kena stadi… kalau tak nanti, ta bleh k***n.. wakakaka :p

okay, enough rambling.. mari makan dan belajar bersungguh-sungguh

thehealthinspector: too busy inspecting other people’s health, the inspector forgets her own :-S

I’m in Scarborough General Hospital with Helen this week and next week. We got here  Sunday night, with our big bags, went to the hospital to get the keys, then went to the accommodation. It’s my first week, (well second actually,but last week was just lectures, so that doesn’t count) so, it’s my 1st week doing Peads. We were planning to be very keen, but somehow laziness came over me (as usual) and I haven’t actually get much work done.

Monday, we had a brief introduction, joined the ward round and meet up with some of the house officers. They’re swapping over to different things,so, it’s been really chaotic - with us trying learn something, and them being new in the job. We went to Sainsbury in the afternoon to get some food.

Tuesday afternoon - I went to clinic, and in the afternoon we went to the beach. There’ re two bays in Scarborough, the North and the South. We went to the South Bay, me, Helen, and Rachel and Washari(they’re fifth years). Quite cloudy and very, very cold , but hey, I’ve never actually been to any beach in the UK, so carpe diem! Had our teas (it was mochas actually) outside (although the shop was a bit ‘modern’ - we wanted to have a-traditional-English-type-of-tea thingy),but that’s the only shop there..hehh. I wanted to get some souvenirs, but the souvenirs shop was close (and mind you, it wasn’t even four yet!!). It was a nice afternoon indeed. We couldn’t find our way back - and ended up on a hill (or as Rachel put it -  we just went to see the sunset :p). Magnificent it was, subhanallah. I’ll put the picture up, one day. heh.

Yesterday, went to town, did some work. Helen had to go home ’cause her dad was admitted to hospital. And this morning, I braved the snow alone to come for clinic, and  had some teaching on baby checks. I’m planning to be real keen today as I’m back to Leeds tomorrow afternoon,but I forget my purse, and now I’m starving. I just don’t want to get a hypoglycaemic attack in the hospital (yeah, yeah excuses, excuses). But, hey, a hungry doctor won’t make the patients better, don’t you think?? haha :p. I honestly did plan to stay till late. Well, maybe I could go home now and come back about 4. hmmmm.. we’ll see..

Shayne Ward - That’s My Goal

You know where I come from
You know my story
You know why I’m standing here
Tonight
Please dont go
Dont be in a hurry
I’m here to make it clear
Make it right

Well I know I’ve acted foolish
But I promise you no more
I’ve finally found that something
Worth reaching for

I’m not here to say I’m sorry
I’m not here to lie to you
I’m here to say I’m ready
That I’ve finally thought it through
I’m not here to let your love go
I’m not giving up oh no
I’m here to win your heart and soul
That’s my goal

Please dont go
You know that I need you
I cant be without you
Live without you
Be without you
Well I know I’ve acted foolish
But I promise you no more
No more

Well I wont stop believing
That we will be leaving together
So when I say I love you
I’ll mean it forever and ever
Ever and ever