~WeLcoMe To My LIfE~

thehealthinspector: he does make sense, doesn’t he?

syahdu malam berlagu sepi

mengiring rawan dalam kamar hati

gelisah menanti kau kembali

manja menagih bujukan di sisi

kerna desakan cintamu

di rantai digelangi rindu

sehinggakan diri sanggup mengalah

kepadamu…

dosamu ku anggapkan debu

bisa diterbang angin yang lalu

ku sedia memaafkanmu

biarlah ku berparut beribu

asal sembuh lukamu

pahitku rasa madu

pulanglah oh kasih ku

ku rayu kepadamu

janganlah diturutkan

mainan perasaanmu

serikanlah duniaku

yang semakin tandus dan gersang

dengan belaian senda gurauanmu

duhai sayang…

dosamu ku anggapkan debu

bisa diterbang angin yang lalu

kusedia memaafkanmu

biarlah ku berparut beribu

asal sembuh lukamu

pahitku.. rasa madu

pulangkah oh kasihku

kurayu kepadamu

janganlah diturutkan mainan perasaanmu..

serikanlah duniaku

yang semakin tandus dan gersang

dengan helaian senda gurauanmu

duhai sayang

oh pulanglah….

My parents are safely back at home, after performing Haj, alhamdulillah. Although Mak is not feeling very well. She was coughing a lot when I called, and Ayah also starting to feel a bit unwell, prolly because of the jet lag and tiredness. Hope they both will be fine soon.. aminn.

We had some kind of raya celebration yesterday, and we invited Dato Seri Nazri Aziz, and also MSD and JPA representative. It was really embarassing though, sbb our guests have to wait for the rest of the people to turn up, before we can start the event. Adoilah!! I mean, I understand that mmg lah event ni bukan wajib pun, and mmg ada orang yang tak boleh datang for one reason or another. Tapinya, from my point of view lah kan, bila kita joint satu-satu community or persatuan tu, we have the responsibilities untuk berinteraksi dan menjayakan apa-apa jua program yang dianjurkan. Ini dah kira macam fardu kifayah, tak ke?

Macam kes ni, bila kata persatuan kita buat sesuatu program, dan jemput someone other than our own members to come, kiranya invitation tu datang dari kita semualah kan? Jadinya, sebagai tuan rumah, tak ke sepatutnya, kita buatkan tetamu kita tu rasa dialu-alukan dgn menunggu tetamu kita tu? Bukannya suruh tetamu tu yang tunggu kita. Sama lah konsep macam kalau kita jemput kawan-kawan kita datang rumah, kita kenalah ada kat rumah kan? Takkan nak biar kawan kita tunggu kat depan pagar sampai satu jam, baru nak bagi kawan kita tu masuk, kan?

Ok, maybe some of us will kata, yang bukan kita yang nak jemput, tapi committee members kita yang nak jemput, so its none of our business. But then again, masa kita appointed committee kita tu, tak ke kita dah bersedia nak menerima keputusan dan membantu committee kita tu. Sama lah macam bila parents kita buat kenduri kat rumah jemput orang kampung, bukan kita yang nak jemput orang kampung kan? Tapi sbb ayah kita dah jemput, kita kena lah get along dan tolong melayan tetamu serta apa-apa lah yang patut. Tak ke?

It’s weird though, sbb bila time makan aje tiba-tiba ada ramai orang muncul..hmmm

Ok, maybe ini tak relevan pun dgn sesetengah orang yang terbaca bebelan aku nih. Tapi nak mengingatkan diri sendiri dan orang lain jugak. Kadang-kadang kita tend to tgk social activities and get together tu sbg perkara remeh, without realising yang sebenarnya kita ada tanggungjawab untuk bersosial. No man is an Island, and dalam Islam pun kata kita mesti berhubungan baik sesama manusia.

I rest my case…

Insomnia is a difficulty in falling asleep or in remaining asleep for an acceptable period. It’s a very common condition and is often caused by worry, tension, depression, pain or old age.

At the moment, I think I’m having some kind of sleeping disorder. It’s been going on for a few weeks now. I mean, I’ve been sleeping very late and woke up late too. Also, even if I decided to go to bed early (that’s when I needed to wake up early for clinics and theatres), I usually just managed to toss and turn in bed, woke up an hour later, realised that I haven’t even been sleeping, dozed off into some kind of weird dreams (yes Yat, like getting married to some unknown strangers :p), then woke up again couple of hours later. Then, tried my hardest to go back to sleep, then hey, Presto! my alarm went off, and it’s time to wake up. How depressing is that???

I’m the kind of person that value my sleep very (and I mean VERY) much. I’d rather starved than be sleep deprived. But now, my sleeping pattern is annoying me. I used to be able to sleep whenever, and where ever I want. Forget classes and lectures, I’ve stopped sleeping in lectures since I came to Uni, but that’s improvement on my side. I’m talking about sleeping in bed, under the warm duvet, and yet, here I am, at this ungodly hour in the morning, drinking nestum, trying to tire myself so I could eventually go to bed.

Maybe I worry too much, and I’m way to tense.. possibly depressed. Oh not too mention, I’m getting older (well, who doesn’t?). Everytime I close my eyes, I started to think about all that’s been happening during the day, and what I should do tomorrow.. and about all the work I should do. Honest to God, I think medicine is killing me. The more I know about the different medical conditions, the more I’m able to diagnose myself with some medical problems. I’ve got a few on my list now. You wanna hear? Oh dear, now I sounded like a freak.

I went to bed about half 12, woke up at one, read my OHCS (that reads OXFORD HANDBOOK OF CLINICAL SPECIALITIES) for half an hour. Called Mala for 10 mins. Went downstairs to make some nestum, and here I am. And it’s twenty to 3 already.

Ok, I don’t think I’m making much sense anymore. My eyelids are drooping. Better get into bed quick, before they change their minds. They seems to have mind of their own nowadays. Night everyone, let’s hope my eyelids stay close till morning.

Adios!

Hmm, it’s been quite sometime since I last updated my blog, or my fotopage, for that matter. Not that I don’t want to update, I just don’t feel like it, and furthermore, I don’t really have any other interesting topic, other than my boring life to write about. But then again, I can’t really leave my baby alone, can I?

Speaking of baby, I managed to deliver a baby boy last night. Probably the only baby I’m able to deliver throughout medical school. It wasn’t an easy delivery to begin with; the baby was face-down - face to mother’s back (normal would be face-up), there was quite a lot of caput (or swelling on the baby’s head -hopefully that’ll go away soon), and the mother is a 17 years old primip (ie 1st child). I was beginning to think that I’m going to stay in delivery suite all night, and she won’t deliver normally, but thankfully, he decided to make an appearance (after me and the midwife finished eating some toast during our supposedly 30 mins break - we only got 10 mins, mind you!).

Then again, as Nicky the midwife said, at least he let us gain some energy, before we got into action, heh! It was indeed a good experience. I just couldn’t make myself think how am I going get pregnant and go into labour. It’s soooooooooo scary and so bloody painful, and bloody of course!! haha. Oh well, let’s not go into that area of discussion. It’s still a loooong way to go..heheh Poor Nicky though, the girl grabbed her neck while the anaesthetist tried to put some epidural in. And my back is still hurting from standing for hours. I don’t know how am I gonna survive being a doctor. I’m such a wimp!! Maybe I should join my dinda; exercise and build up some muscles. heheh.

Okay, enough rambling. Dunno what else to write. Till then, I’m content just reading other people’s blog. Laters!

thehealthinspector: "You can’t outwit fate by trying to stand on the sidelines and place outside bets about the outcome of life.Either you wade in and risk everything to play the game, or you don’t play at all. And if you don’t play, you can’t win." - Paradise, Judith McNaught.