~WeLcoMe To My LIfE~

Another year has gone, and it’s time when most people starts their new resolutions. I’ve never had any new resolutions, other than to study harder, and play less (as usual, every new year, every new term, every time), but I’ve yet to fulfill it..heheh :p.

Besides, I’ve always thought that I don’t even make any new resolutions during Awal Muharram, the beginning of the Hijriah Calendar, so, what’s the difference? Also, like what my beloved dinda pointed out in her blog, you can make resolutions any time during the year. Which you do, without even realising. Like when you fell the first time you ride a bike and you determine to try harder, or when you did badly in exams, and wanted to do better next time. But I guess, new year is one day that you can actually say to yourself, Okay, this year I’m going to do such and such; and you can start your new resolutions as you start writing in your new diary ;).

Anyway as I looked at the fireworks outside my window, I can’t help but hope that this becoming year will be as wonderful as the previous year if not better

To Farid, Happy Belated Birthday, and to Asmak, Happy Becoming Birthday. I wish you all the happiness, and may all your dreams come true. May Allah bless us. Aminnn.

thehealthinspector: Happy New Year to all.

I’ve just finished reading..my errr… 5th storybook in 2 weeks. Okay, I know, I’m a bookworm.. heheh.. but I really can’t help it.. I won’t mind spending the day in bed curling up and disappear into yet another book. If only they can make textbook as exciting as storybooks. *sigh* Ok, that’s beside the point.

This book by Sophie Kinsella is really interesting and made me think. I mean..everyone has their own little secrets. There are lotsa reasons why you keep something from someone or lie to someone. Sometimes people lie to placate somebody.. sometimes, you think that you know the other person too well, and you know what you did can somehow jeopardise your relationship, hence you lied. Or ok, maybe you don’t really lie, but you don’t really tell the truth either. You kinda omit some pertinent facts and tell the bit that you think are acceptable. And you keep that unacceptable bits to yourself. Sounds familiar? I’m sure it does!

Now, don’t pretend that you don’t have these tiny little secrets. It’s just normal. Don’t be upset if your best friend don’t tell you everything. I mean, they can’t really tell you that they don’t like the present you gave them on their birthday, can they? Well maybe they can, but that’ll upset you..hence they keep their mouth shut. And if you really like something they don’t like, they won’t really say it straight on your face. They’ll kinda beat around the bush, hoping that you’ll understand. Besides, everyone needs their own little space. And we have to respect people’s privacy. At least, that’s what I think. (Although I have to admit there are some nosy people in the world. I mean who doesn’t like hearing juicy gossips every now and again?)

But then you say, relationship should be based on trust. Again, you’re right. You have to be able to trust someone enough you can tell them your secrets when the time comes. Like.. I don’t know.. like when you tell your bestfriend that her ex did made a move on you (while they’re still together) after they broke up - to emphasis that he’s not that good anyway. I mean, you can’t really go and mengorat your girlfriend’s best friend can you?

Bottom line is.. you have to balance these things. And think really carefully what you can keep to yourself, and when to spill the beans. Oh, and don’t tell your secrets to strangers. You can never tell if they’re going to be strangers for long. By right, don’t your mom told you not to talk to strangers?

thehealthinspectors: and to my beloved friends.. I do have secrets

Selasa, 2000hrs

Yat ajak gi York..exactly what I needed. Baru je ingat nak ajak mereka berpoya-poya, tp dia dah ajak dulu..so, on aje lah kan.. (although kol 2am baru dia text konfemkan  na klua kol baper). saje je kaco orang tdo. Maka bermulalah pengembaraan dan sesi pembulian oleh kekandaku yang poyo.. huhuhu..

Rabu, 0815hrs..

Msg alia..kunun2 nak klua kol 9am.. tapi mcm orang lain masih enak dibuai mimpi ajer.. hmmm..

0920hrs..

Tak siap lagi makcik2 ni sumer.. macam artis bersolek ajer.. aku dah sempat makan nasik sepinggan dah…

0938hrs..

Finally, siap jugak diorg ni.. jumpa kat Park Lane.. then jalan kaki gi bus stesen.. Naik tren kol 1015.. sampai york town centre cam pukul 1100. Gerimis mengundang lah pula.. Tp tak mematahkan semangat kami utk bersiar-siar dan berposing amik gamba kat city centre.. then gi buat aktiviti berposing baju zaman medieval kat kdai..

hasilnya…

1430hrs..

Made our way to McArthur Glenn designer outlet, with high spirits, maklum ler, nak shopping punya pasal. Lagi lah pulak bila tahu yg outlet tu dibukak sampai kul 9pm sbb nak krismas. Lagilah hyper kanak2 ribena ini semua…

Sampai2 kat outlet.. isi perut dulu.. ye lah, kna laa top-up tenaga kan? kang pengsan pulak masa tgh shopping. Lagipun, diorg ni bkn buleh harap.. kalu shopping tu, mmg ta ingat kawan sendrik..heheh

1800hrs..

pnat laa pulak.. singgah kat Thornton minum mocha..then sambung lagik. Etty dah ajak balik.. tapi Wada dgn penuh emphasis nye.. ‘alaa nak balik dah? tak moh.. nak shopping lagik!!’ Jadik sambung laa lagi.. kata pun ada 3 jam lagi sebelum kedai tutup..

2015hrs..

Masing-masing dah ready nak balik.. dgn shopping bag yg penuh di tangan..dan kaki yang macam nak patah serta perut yang dah mula warm-up nak buat konsert.

Sampai kat bus stop.. cek next bus punya time.. pastu semua baru tersedar, last bus from that stop was at 8pm. Panik!! Panik!! Dah laa tade no tepon teksi..adoi laa..bagaimana yer.. Tepon bus nye information, tp dah tutup.. Semua dah termenung.. Baru teringat ada kaunter information kat dalam outlet. So, Yat, Alia and Wada gi masuk dalam tanya.. then diorang call.. "cepat lari, ada sploh minit nak gi bus stop lagi satu." Maka berlari lah nak gi bus stop di sebalik bangunan sana. Adoilaa.. bijak bistari semuanya..eksaited na shopping sampai lupa yg diri sendiri rely on public transport..sumer konfiden je ada bas.. Cemaner pun, kami berjaya jugak naik bas terakhir itu. Then naik bas kol 10pm utk balik Leeds. Sampai umah kol 11.30pm. FINALLY!!!

W/pun lapar dan pnat, sumer masih hyper lagik.. masak2 dan makan2… gelak2 lagik.. keciwi dengan baju2 baru..kol 2 baru masuk tdo.. Dan Ija tdo kat umah Yat sampai 2 malam.. padahal rumah sendrik sepelaung ajer :p

Jadik pengajaran pada minggu ini, walaupun eksaited untuk bershopping dan ngabiskan duit.. sila sedar diri sendiri tade keta.. Jadi, jgn lupa cek bila 2nd last bus dr outlet ke town (in case terlepas, still ada last bus).. Jgn membazir tenaga (dah laa perut lapar) berlari mengejar bas kat bus stop di sebalik bangunan sana..huhuhu

thehealthinspector: I’m a happy bunny

Lying in my bed, I hear the clock ticks, and think of you
Caught up in circles, confusion is nothing new
Flash back, warm night, almost left behind
Suitcase of memories…
Time after…

Sometime you pictured me, I’m walking too far ahead
You’re callin’ to me, I can’t hear what you’ve said
You said, "Go slow, I fall behind"
The second hand unwinds…

If you’re lost, you can look and you will find me,
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I’ll be waiting,
Time after time

I turn, my picture fades, and darkness has turned to grey
Watching through windows, you’re wondering if I’m okay
Secrets, stolen, from deep inside,
The drum beats out of time…

If you’re lost, you can look and you will find me,
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I’ll be waiting,
Time after time

If you’re lost, you can look and you will find me,
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting,
Time after time

Time after time…

thehealthinspector: missing you..
 

I’ve always been small. When I was in primary school, I was one of the people standing in front of the queue. When I was in boarding school, again, I was one of the people standing in front of the queue (except after they made me a prefect, I can choose to stand where ever I want). And after 23 years of life, I’m still one of those people that should stand in front of the queue. I don’t mind being small. Not that I can do anything about it anyway. I’m me, and I’m thankful I’ve got enough pancaindera. I’m not blind or deaf or handicap. And for that, I’m thankful.

It just annoys me when people see me, and make comments about how small I am, or how thin. I mean.. come on, I stopped growing up when I was fifteen.. I’ve always been less than 5 foot tall, and always weigh less than forty kilos. So, what do you expect to see? You don’t expect to see me being 6 foot tall and weigh 100kg after a few months, do you?

If you’re worried when you see me like this, imagine how I feel being me, and how I feel when people make that remark all the time. I mean, I often take such comments as a compliment, and my friends know that I couldn’t care less what people say. But, one can’t take too much compliments. At least, I can’t. You don’t know how much I eat, you don’t know how much I tried to gain some more weight. And for God’s sake, you don’t know how much I hate it when I couldn’t find the right pants or jeans, when I have to shop for months before I could find the right shoes, when I can’t buy the things I like because it’s too big for me. So, please stop complaining. I can whine for myself, thank you very much.

I don’t know.. when you see your friend getting fat, you don’t go and say it straight on their face, do you? I mean, how would you feel if I go to you and say ‘eh, xxxxx, gemuknya kau!!’. Maybe some of you do. I don’t. So if it’s not quite right to say how fat people is, what makes you think it’s right for you to comment on how thin people is. So, what? Thin people don’t have feelings? Or it’s alright because they’re not fat?

Urghh.. I just told you I don’t care what people say, didn’t I? Well, actually I do. I tend not too care, but I’m human. And because of that, I have feelings. My best friends don’t say anything, so why should you? My beloved sisters don’t say anything. OK, my boyfriend does it all the time, but that’s because he’s worried and he’s a guy, so, he doesn’t know better. Also, I know for a fact he’ll make sure I eat as much as I can (if he’s here, that is). And I know my mom will say something, but she hasn’t seen me for two years, and she worries all the time anyway. Maybe you’re worried about me, and maybe you do care and for that, I thank you. But, as I said, I’m capable of worrying for myself. And I can whine for myself. If I want to whine, I’ll let you know and you can whine for me too. And you can show me how much you care by cooking me some nice dinner or invite me for lunch. Commenting on it will only make me feel worse.

For now, my stomach is grumbling, so I’d better go and fix me a nice fatty brunch. I’ll write again when I want to whine about other things.

thehealthinspector: Urghh..I hate it when I feel all touchy-feely on one stupid comment. Sooo not me..

Gave Mala a wake up call last night.. Soo nice to talk to her after all this while. It’s been ages since I last called her, and I wasn’t writing that much either.. heheh sorry mate, I was too occupied.. Will call you again, and this time, make sure you have 3 hours to spend with me. 1 hour’s just not enough.. mueheheh

Woke up this morning, quite early ‘coz I wanted to go to theatre. Besides, Amy has warned me that the consultant is a bit ‘mean’. Try to find my way to the pre-assessment unit (that’s what the SHO told me yesterday), but met the consultant. So I stopped and asked her. Maybe I was stupid, and maybe I was bothering her.. but then again, it’s early in the morning, and I’ve never been to the main theatre here. At least, cut me some slack man. I’ve never even went to see the patients for any theatre lists before. Here I am, 8 o’clock in the morning, try to do the ward round with her, and she said I was bothering her. Huhuhu. Tough eh? Well, she’s not that bad actually, and after this morning I tried so much to avoid her.

Unsuccessfully of course, because it was her theatre list, so obviously she’s meant to be in the theatre. But then again, the Registrar was doing her list, and she was quite nice to me. The Consultant wasn’t that ‘mean’ actually. I supposed that’s just her nature. I mean, she was quite nice when she speaks to the patient. I think maybe she just don’t like it when people didn’t do what she told. Oh well. I’ve got another clinic with her after Christmas. Hopefully I can get away with staying with the Reg instead of her..huhuhu. I don’t like it when people made me feel smaller than I already am. *sigh*

Never mind, at least I’ve got 2 weeks break to look forward to, where I SHOULD spend my time either studying or do my SSC. Hopefully, what I would do will be the things that I should do.. heh (",)

One more day left.

thehealthinspector: O Allah, please give me strength.. aminnn

Just  got back from town. Went to the german market.. tgk ada pape benda menarik ke tak..tp mcm bosan sbb jalan sensorang.. rasa nak main bumper car, but again, takkan na main sensorang?? Then made my way to the city market. Exchange a couple of my old books with another one - Cecilia Ahern’s Where Rainbow Ends, then bought Agatha Christie and 1 McNaught book. Was looking for Garwood, but couldn’t find one.. so, McNaught pon McNaught laa.. besides, can always go and exchange for another..heheh.

My beloved dinda is ‘bullying’ me into cooking for her… heheheh, mintak2 Nasreen tak lupa beli gas card lah, sbb gas da abis.. kalau tak, kna laa postpone len kali aje ye dinda. Dan lagi, you’d better come up with a big plan to cheer me up, coz I’m just plain miserable and hormonal and weepy.. rasa macam pompuan ngandung anak sulung ajer.. huhuhuhu  (macam penah rasa je pon :p)

Went to body shop sbb Ima kata dia nak perfume baru, tp ta de pon indian gardenia tuh..skrg derang sibuk jual gift set utk perfume2 lain.. pusing 2 kedai body shop kat town tu, tp ta jumpa. Kna tunggu boxing day laa kot nampak gayanya.. lagi pun time tu biasanya bertambah2 murah..heheh.. Went to Dixon, tgk2 portable dvd player..bila laa nak kaya ni.. na bli dvd player. Nasib baik jugak laa Nasreen angkut dvd player dia dr rumah, jd bleh tgk dvd.

Oh dear.. I’m sooo sick of this place laa.. I wanna go home!!!! Tade sape na sedekahkan aku tiket kapal terbang ke??  huhuhuhu.

Cpatlah Xmas break.. *sigh*

Oh and I think I’m losing the very little weight I have.. Don’t ask me why coz I eat like a horse. I blamed it on the Med School.. they’re the reason why.. huhh!!